Just Say No to "Fifty Shades"

I was going to try to stay out of this whole controversy surrounding the book and subsequent movie coming out soon entitled “Fifty Shades of Grey”, but after an incident this morning I can’t keep my opinion to myself any longer.

While getting my kids ready for school this morning, I let my daughter watch one of her favorite “shows” on YouTube about Doc McStuffins playdough. She loves it. Would watch it everyday if she could. However, when I got it to her particular favorite show this morning, all of a sudden I heard a familiar advertisement pop up instead. I looked down at the iPad and there was the disturbing and immoral images of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie trailer, right in front of my 3 ½ year old daughters eyes. And no, we had not accidentally gone to the wrong website, this was the ad YouTube had laid out before a Disney Jr. show that my daughter was wanting to watch. On purpose! Needless to say, that was the last straw; I had had enough.

No I am not a writer, and no, I did not read this book. However, though I did not subject myself to this demoralizing novel, I don’t have to read every word of lies to understand exactly what it is. And I can safely say that I am afraid for our society when a book or movie is presented to us that is demoralizing, degrading, and destructive, and we as a society not only accept it as normal, but actually celebrate it! Since when did we get to the point in our culture where we hand over our hard earned money for trash in the name of entertainment?

How did it come to this? How did we get here? Since when did the flood of pornography become notable? This was categorized as an “erotica romance”….this is no romance of ANY kind! This movie is celebrated pornography; that is all it is. I was reading an anti-pornography blog the other day that I felt truly defined this book and the entire phenomenon extremely well. Under their "Talking Points" section they stated:

• The story makes violence sexy. Many individuals are experimenting with these acts and relationships without understanding the dangers and consequences.

• The story glamorizes and legitimizes both sexual and domestic violence. Now, with the overwhelming popularity of the book, mainstream opinion makers, the media, and celebrities are legitimizing this violence too. The reality is that in real life, women in these situations don’t end up like Anastasia — they often end up in a woman’s shelter, on the run for years, or dead.

• Other themes that are romanticized in the book include: coercion, humiliation, degradation, stalking, isolation, manipulation, physical torture, intimidation, possessiveness, jealousy, emotional and physical abuse.

• The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey among women sends a message to men that this is what women really want. Many men are already consuming material (hardcore pornography) that sexualizes violences and leads to permission-giving beliefs such as all women like violence, “no” really means “yes,” and rape is permissible. The popularity of this book only feeds into these lies and further promotes our rape culture.

• The mainstreaming of this book also sends the message to women that they can “fix” violent, controlling men by being obedient and loving.

• Our pornified culture is already affected by violent acts in mainstream porn and now, with the help of Fifty Shades of Grey, this violence is being further legitimized and broadly accepted by women. Now men don’t have to entice women to engage in the violent acts that they regularly consume through pornography because Fifty Shades of Grey is doing it for them.

 We are completely kidding ourselves if we feel like this and other "entertainment" venues are not effecting our children as well. As stated in a 2011 article in Psychology Today, "When an adolescent boy compulsively views pornography, his brain chemistry can become shaped around the attitudes and situations that he is watching. Sadly, pornography paints an unrealistic picture of sexuality and relationships that can create an expectation for real-life experiences that will never be fulfilled." And this movie is a prime example of shoving this behavior in the faces of impressionable young men and women, as well as promoting this dangerous behavior for adults as well. These effects are real, scary, and destructive.

Not only does this movie promote addictive and unhealthy relationships and pornographic tendencies, it also depicts females in general to be a weak, overly vulnerable, feeble and completely dependent on a man for support. This female author has completely turned her back on her own sex by portraying this main character as anything but an independent woman who can’t think and act for herself.  This is a story depicting a romanticized version of domestic violence, period! Shame on her! Would she really look into the eyes of her two teenage sons and tell them that this is correct behavior? Absolutely not! So why should we, as a society, be accepting this behavior and spreading it like a disease?

Teenagers are bringing this book to read during class, growing up believing that this is acceptable, and even normal! I don’t think we have even seen a fraction of the psychologically stinted men and women that will come about as a result of “entertainment” just like this! As another reviewer (who actually did read the book) put it "Christian (the main male character) never views Anastatsia (main female) as a person, let alone an independent woman. He wants her to obey him, and even though she refuses to include that in her wedding vows, it is exactly what she does." I personally am so afraid of young women in our day growing up believing that in order to make a man "happy" that she must subject herself to emotional, physical, and verbal abuse. This is not anywhere close to love or romance; this is in fact, quite the opposite of true love. And no where near reality.

You couldn't pay me enough to read this book or watch this movie. I would never hand over any of our hard-earned money to watch something that promotes “misogyny, abuse, and sado-masochism under the guise of “romance””. I encourage everyone to boycott this movie, never read this book, and join me in helping to flood the world with uplifting messages instead of dangerous lies. 

What would happen if we flooded the world with everything good, encouraging, and uplifting? What a different world we would live in if we did not accept lies, evil, and dangerous relationships, but stood up for what was true and healthy? What if all the ads we saw on billboards, across buses, and in the grocery store were supporting young women’s self-esteem, self-worth, and healthy relationships? This world would be completely flipped on its head, and in a fabulous way!

Please join me in just saying “no” to this disturbing movie.
And of course even though I will NOT watch it, it still gets even worse then a 4 diaper day, pretty much my worst twin blow-out diaper day ever.

If you wish to read more from the End Sexual Exploitation Blog, please visit:
http://endsexualexploitation.org/fiftyshadesgrey/