Just Say No to "Fifty Shades"

I was going to try to stay out of this whole controversy surrounding the book and subsequent movie coming out soon entitled “Fifty Shades of Grey”, but after an incident this morning I can’t keep my opinion to myself any longer.

While getting my kids ready for school this morning, I let my daughter watch one of her favorite “shows” on YouTube about Doc McStuffins playdough. She loves it. Would watch it everyday if she could. However, when I got it to her particular favorite show this morning, all of a sudden I heard a familiar advertisement pop up instead. I looked down at the iPad and there was the disturbing and immoral images of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie trailer, right in front of my 3 ½ year old daughters eyes. And no, we had not accidentally gone to the wrong website, this was the ad YouTube had laid out before a Disney Jr. show that my daughter was wanting to watch. On purpose! Needless to say, that was the last straw; I had had enough.

No I am not a writer, and no, I did not read this book. However, though I did not subject myself to this demoralizing novel, I don’t have to read every word of lies to understand exactly what it is. And I can safely say that I am afraid for our society when a book or movie is presented to us that is demoralizing, degrading, and destructive, and we as a society not only accept it as normal, but actually celebrate it! Since when did we get to the point in our culture where we hand over our hard earned money for trash in the name of entertainment?

How did it come to this? How did we get here? Since when did the flood of pornography become notable? This was categorized as an “erotica romance”….this is no romance of ANY kind! This movie is celebrated pornography; that is all it is. I was reading an anti-pornography blog the other day that I felt truly defined this book and the entire phenomenon extremely well. Under their "Talking Points" section they stated:

• The story makes violence sexy. Many individuals are experimenting with these acts and relationships without understanding the dangers and consequences.

• The story glamorizes and legitimizes both sexual and domestic violence. Now, with the overwhelming popularity of the book, mainstream opinion makers, the media, and celebrities are legitimizing this violence too. The reality is that in real life, women in these situations don’t end up like Anastasia — they often end up in a woman’s shelter, on the run for years, or dead.

• Other themes that are romanticized in the book include: coercion, humiliation, degradation, stalking, isolation, manipulation, physical torture, intimidation, possessiveness, jealousy, emotional and physical abuse.

• The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey among women sends a message to men that this is what women really want. Many men are already consuming material (hardcore pornography) that sexualizes violences and leads to permission-giving beliefs such as all women like violence, “no” really means “yes,” and rape is permissible. The popularity of this book only feeds into these lies and further promotes our rape culture.

• The mainstreaming of this book also sends the message to women that they can “fix” violent, controlling men by being obedient and loving.

• Our pornified culture is already affected by violent acts in mainstream porn and now, with the help of Fifty Shades of Grey, this violence is being further legitimized and broadly accepted by women. Now men don’t have to entice women to engage in the violent acts that they regularly consume through pornography because Fifty Shades of Grey is doing it for them.

 We are completely kidding ourselves if we feel like this and other "entertainment" venues are not effecting our children as well. As stated in a 2011 article in Psychology Today, "When an adolescent boy compulsively views pornography, his brain chemistry can become shaped around the attitudes and situations that he is watching. Sadly, pornography paints an unrealistic picture of sexuality and relationships that can create an expectation for real-life experiences that will never be fulfilled." And this movie is a prime example of shoving this behavior in the faces of impressionable young men and women, as well as promoting this dangerous behavior for adults as well. These effects are real, scary, and destructive.

Not only does this movie promote addictive and unhealthy relationships and pornographic tendencies, it also depicts females in general to be a weak, overly vulnerable, feeble and completely dependent on a man for support. This female author has completely turned her back on her own sex by portraying this main character as anything but an independent woman who can’t think and act for herself.  This is a story depicting a romanticized version of domestic violence, period! Shame on her! Would she really look into the eyes of her two teenage sons and tell them that this is correct behavior? Absolutely not! So why should we, as a society, be accepting this behavior and spreading it like a disease?

Teenagers are bringing this book to read during class, growing up believing that this is acceptable, and even normal! I don’t think we have even seen a fraction of the psychologically stinted men and women that will come about as a result of “entertainment” just like this! As another reviewer (who actually did read the book) put it "Christian (the main male character) never views Anastatsia (main female) as a person, let alone an independent woman. He wants her to obey him, and even though she refuses to include that in her wedding vows, it is exactly what she does." I personally am so afraid of young women in our day growing up believing that in order to make a man "happy" that she must subject herself to emotional, physical, and verbal abuse. This is not anywhere close to love or romance; this is in fact, quite the opposite of true love. And no where near reality.

You couldn't pay me enough to read this book or watch this movie. I would never hand over any of our hard-earned money to watch something that promotes “misogyny, abuse, and sado-masochism under the guise of “romance””. I encourage everyone to boycott this movie, never read this book, and join me in helping to flood the world with uplifting messages instead of dangerous lies. 

What would happen if we flooded the world with everything good, encouraging, and uplifting? What a different world we would live in if we did not accept lies, evil, and dangerous relationships, but stood up for what was true and healthy? What if all the ads we saw on billboards, across buses, and in the grocery store were supporting young women’s self-esteem, self-worth, and healthy relationships? This world would be completely flipped on its head, and in a fabulous way!

Please join me in just saying “no” to this disturbing movie.
And of course even though I will NOT watch it, it still gets even worse then a 4 diaper day, pretty much my worst twin blow-out diaper day ever.

If you wish to read more from the End Sexual Exploitation Blog, please visit:
http://endsexualexploitation.org/fiftyshadesgrey/

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I know, I know, I haven't blogged in pretty much forever. My life has been slightly hectic since my crazy pregnancy and difficult baby! :) We all love her so much and she is such a light in our lives, but boy was she difficult there for a while. Hopefully I will be able to start blogging again soon, as I know there are SO many people out there just dying to hear from me! :)

Recent Movies

I haven't had much time to watch anything lately, which makes me sad as it is one of my favorite things to do. :) These are the most recent that I have had on in the background, or seen with Teage before baby was born. And unfortunately, not much good to report. :) Here are my simple reviews for the following movies:
"How Do You Know"

Ugh....need I say more? It was honestly painful to watch. The acting was terrible, which pains me to say considering Reese is one of my very favorites. The script was non=existent, the scenes did not have any flow, and it was just overall boring. Painful, painful. Definitely 4 diapers....miserable.

"Something Borrowed"

Yikes....another one that is difficult to even review because I felt it was so mind=numbing. What is going on with acting these days? It was absolutely terrible! Predictable, cliche, uninspiring. 4 diapers....miserable.

"Source Code"

Now this one was actually interesting. Definitely made me think and ponder a bit, not knowing exactly what to expect. Jake Gyllenhaal really played his part well, and I truly did enjoy Michelle Monaghan also. The main character awakens to find himself on a train headed to Chicago with no recollection of how he got there. Seated next to him is a pretty girl who believes he is someone else entirely. We gradually find out this man's "true" identity and situation, and what this Source Code is honestly about. The movie overall was interesting and kept my attention throughout. I give it 2 diapers.....definitely agreeable.

"Secretariat"

A great inspirational true story, and one that is definitely worth watching. I usually love the moving types of stories, and this one is no different. I did feel that it was slightly boring and slow moving in parts, but it seems like it kept with the original story well. I give it a 2 diaper day....agreeable.

Recently

I have been such a slacker lately! Things for me have been a bit hectic, so unfortunately the activities that I love to do for myself (like this blog) go to the back-burner for a while. I am fully planning on keeping up with it as soon as I settle down (and stop throwing up....thank you baby!), but for now, here are some films that I have absolutely loved recently. I highly recommend them! All of these have my top rating....a 1 diaper day!

I am sensing a little bit of a theme with these movies that I adore....

The Back-Up Plan

Wow.....all I can really say about this movie:

TRAIN WRECK!!!!!!

Letters to Juliet

The classic 'never realized romance' comes onto the screen in this cliche of a movie, like many we have seen before. And not just the never realized romance, but they threw in a will they or won't they new romance in the thick of it as well, just to tease us.

Main character Sophie, played by Amanda Seyfried, ventures to Italy with her fiance (well, sort of, I mean come on...where is the ring Sophie?) and ends up on an adventure of sorts on her own instead. Sophie is a budding journalist who attempts to play Juliet in writing Claire (Vanessa Redgrave) a letter of reply after 50 years of silence regarding her long lost love. Claire visits Italy with her grandson, all go on an adventure to find the long lost love, and of course Sophie and grandson Charlie (Chris Egan) end up falling in love in the process. What is a girl to do? In love with two men and in the heart of Tuscany! This is just too painful! I was honestly surprised that Vanessa Redgrave accepted this odd role in the first place. She is a legend for goodness sake, and been in more leading roles then I can count. Her performance was not up to par in this film, though I believe it wasn't a fault of her own at all.

I had not seen Christopher Egan in any other role before this one, which, unfortunately for him, did not work in his favor. Though he was more lively then Amanda Seyfried, he still fell flat a bit for me. He is cute, don't get me wrong, and did deliver his lines well and with some passion, but all in all, the performance was not extremely memorable.

Which bring us to Amanda. Oh Amanda Amanda....what were you thinking? Well, maybe the point is that she just plain wasn't thinking at all. Honestly, this role could have been SO much more then what was given to it. I usually adore Amanda (Mama Mia anyone?), but her performance was completely non-existent throughout the entire film. Yes, the dialog was extremely limp which would make it hard for any actor. But, her expressions and passion were not even present, she didn't bring anything to the main character! She was flat out boring, sad to say. Lines were boring, expressions were boring, there were even multiple scenes with her just walking around looking bored out of her mind. Not animated at all and definitely did not bring ANYTHING to this role. Sorry Amanda....

I think that this story could have been more light, funny, charming, and smart. It felt like it was simply thrown together without much thought to it. Honestly, the editing was odd, the music didn't fit, the lines were stuck in in weird places. Or just plain cheesy lines like "Can you move? Only my lips!" and "When we are speaking about love, it is never too late." Please make it stop!

Though the overall film it did appeal to my romantic side, I could not look past the awkwardness of some scenes, lines, and script. I think this film could have been 100 times better if told correctly. The only redeeming part of it was the beautiful Italian countryside, which made me want to hop on a plane as soon as possible. I give it a three diaper day, mediocre.

Bummer.....

The Last Song

A movie that I had waited a long time for! Not seeing movies in theaters much anymore, my sense of patience is severely tested when it comes to waiting for them to come out on DVD!! But thankfully, I was one of the first on Netflix, and my good friend decided to make it a girls night, which made the waiting worth it. :)

I honestly didn't have many expectations for this film, other then knowing I would inevitably cry (come on...it is Nicholas Sparks we are talking about), and most likely it would be somewhat of a romance cliche. Which, of course, it did turn out to be on many levels.

Based off of one of the famously tear-jerking Nicholas Sparks novels, The Last Song actually comes to us not as a date-night romantic, but more as what appears to be the attempted platform to launch Miss Miley Cyrus into the atmosphere of her career. Though sadly, neither one was attained. This movie was enjoyable to watch as a whole, but unfortunately had no sense of real-life what-so-ever. And to give Miley a little credit, I guess it would be difficult to give a convincing performance when what you are saying isn't all that intelligent anyway. The story didn't seem to flow, and other then Miley's little brother in the film, the script was really disjointed and rather boring.

Oh Miley Miley.....not sure what advice I would give you if you were standing in front of me this minute. Miley played the main character of Ronnie in the film; an angry, dramatic, and self-centered teenager who hates the world for her parent's divorce, hates her father for leaving, and hates her mother for shipping her off to Georgia for the summer. And all this after she has turned her back on her amazing talents as a pianist and apparent song writer for no reason that I can recall. THEN, she ends up meeting a really gorgeous, and rather perfect it seems, guy who tries to sweep her off her feet, and only ends up hating him as well, which I again can't recall the reason for. I guess he lied about something.....hmmm....I don't know. Anyway, let's just say that she is angry at the world....poor her.

I believe that Cyrus really tried in this role, but the end result was not anything to write home about. Her overall performance was mediocre at best, and at times rather pathetic (sorry Miley!). She was definitely trying way too hard and not producing enough. One film critic actually says "Disney starlet Miley Cyrus becomes an early contender for worst actress of the decade in this painful attempt at a romantic tear-jerker." Yikes!!! She was though, in the end, very boring and unbelievable.

The dashing Liam Hemsworth plays Will, Ronnie's love interest during a whirlwind summer of drama and sea turtles. Though Will was fun to watch, he really did seem to be trying too hard just like his counterpart. A little more believable then Cyrus, I think that he still missed the mark and came off as an overzealous teenager just excited to relay a few lines on camera. Him and Cyrus had no chemistry, but it sure did look like they enjoyed kissing in the ocean!

Which brings me to the real stars of the show and the only two performances worth raving about! The lovely Greg Kinnear, as the father, and little brother Jonah, played by Bobby Coleman.

I feel that Kinnear is a steadfast and immovable actor, in that he can really pull off anything that is thrown at him and still make it look realistic. Even working with Miley Cyrus didn't through him off! And THAT my friends is a feat!

However, the biggest star of the film has to go to Mr. Bobby Coleman. I have never seen this adorable kid before, but I sure hope that I get to again. He performed beautifully! His lines were spot on, his emotions were realistic, he was funny when he was meant to be funny, serious when meant to be serious, and could pull of an overly sarcastic line with precision! I can't say enough about this little genius! He stole the show in a big way, and I was left thinking that I would have loved to see more of him and less of his overly dramatic sister!

All in all, this movie was definitely watchable, and even enjoyable in spots. I do admit that I love the soundtrack as well, and am intrigued enough to go read the book for myself. However, my main thought once the credits rolled was not about the storyline, actors, script, or even the music, but "where in the world did they film that movie?" And..."why can't I go there now?" :) It definitely didn't make my list of favorites, but was really fun to watch with an amazing girlfriend. I give it a three diaper day.....mediocre. Sorry Miley, you just didn't convince me!